does your period ever come late and you start to wonder if you’re pregnant despite the fact the most intimate thing you’ve ever done is shake hands?
the number of times i thought i was the next virgin mary is alarming
when you can’t hear what someone says and they repeat it 98 times and you’re still like
what if your belly button screamed when you put a shirt on because it was afraid of the dark
Yahoo! paid $1 billion for this
there is a huge difference between genuinely liking someone and liking the attention they give you and it took me a long ass time to realize that
i was at the bus stop with my sister the other day and for no apparent reason, she says: ‘dude, there are more dead people in the world than living people’ and the woman standing beside me whispered ‘holy shit’ and i fucking lost it